What If…?

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Hi All! 

I’m so excited to be sitting in this space to write!!  Feels like it’s been forever and yet this space has a familiarity to it that becomes stronger the more I return.  I’m starting to fall in love more and more with finding myself in front of a blank screen or sheet of paper with no idea what will show up.  Most of the time, I have an idea of something that I want to share, but not today.  Today, I’m showing up with no plan…no idea…no intent other than to be here in the unknown.

In all honesty, I’ve avoided this place for a while.  Why would I do that, when I know that when I get here, the words will come?  Why would I do that, when I know that when I’m here, I love it?

In the last couple of years, I’ve discovered so much about how we work as human beings…how our minds work…who we all are and what’s possible for all of us…for all of humanity.  I’ve begun to experience life from such a new place, as ideas and beliefs about myself, others and life are slowly falling away.  And all of that with very little effort…just a willingness to look.  It’s incredible!!  I’ve found myself in moments of deep peace and profound joy, such as I’ve never experienced before. 

And then, out of nowhere, I’m back in the shit.  And it feels real!!  So so real!!  Full of judgement, anger, defensiveness, blame, self-pity, all of it.  And I’ve found myself there quite a bit over the last couple of months.  So maybe that’s why I’ve avoided coming back, even though I love it.  Maybe I created the idea that I shouldn’t write until I’ve cleaned up all the negative emotion…that there’s enough out there already without my adding to it in any way.  So hey, it makes sense that I wouldn’t write with all of that wrapped around it.  Way too heavy!  Who wants to create anything from that place?!? 

But as always (when we let it!), the mind settles down.  Like the snow globe analogy…when we stop shaking it up, our thoughts settle and we come back to our default…peace. 

“There’s something in me that is beyond that thinking.  And if I stay with that part of myself that is bigger than my thinking, then wisdom comes into that space…real-time responsive intelligence comes into that space…insight…sudden knowing…”.   -Michael Neill

And as my thoughts settled, I realized something.  I don’t need to wait until I’m perfect and completely void of all negative emotions.  We’re here to experience all that this life has to offer and sometimes that includes low moods and negative emotion, as well as peace, joy and excitement.  And for me, I realized that it isn’t just the last couple of months.  I’m forever going to forget and get caught up in my personal thought!  I’m going to have low moods as well as high.  And it’s perfect!  Because I can always fall back into the quiet and remember…remember that we are all so much more than we think.  And I am starting to know that space, because it feels lighter…more fun. There’s less pressure to fix anything.  And it’s in that space that, more and more, I’m starting to disbelieve my own story about how things are.

If you’ve read any of my other blogs, you know that one of my favorite phrases right now is “What if…”.  There’s so much space in it…so much possibility.  I love it. 

So…what if…what if all emotions and moods were ok?  What if we accepted ourselves however we are at any given moment, flying high or low…remembering that it’s all part of this life?  Would we hold negative emotion just a little bit lighter…be just a bit easier on ourselves and others?  What if by realizing that there’s nothing to fix, we discover that we don’t seem to stay low as long as we once did?  Would we also discover that it’s ok to feel amazing, even during difficult times in the world…and hold that lighter as well, not trying to grasp so tightly for fear that we’ll lose it forever?  Might we discover then, that we seem to fall into that good feeling more of the time, as that truly is our default.

Hold on, now!  Because I’m going to take this a step farther! 

What if life is so much simpler than we think?  What if we already are everything we could ever want to be?  What if we already have everything we could ever want?  What if the only reason we don’t realize this already is that our minds are just too busy…too shaken up to realize it?  What if, just like the snow globe, we let our thoughts settle for a moment, just a moment?

What might be possible in that space?  What might we realize that we already somehow know?

If you knew…deeply knew…that all is ok, that you are ok (not just “meh” ok but “fundamentally, at the deepest parts of who you are” ok), how would today be different?  How would you be different? 

How would the next thing you do or think after reading this, be different?

Me?  I have no idea.  But I’m excited to find out:)